this is my PERSONAL tongue-in-cheek review of the 2008 C5 3.0 V6.
please take with a VERY LARGE pinch of salt, and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humour :-)
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okie.
i test drove it three times today.
presently only the 3.0 litre is available for test drive. it has six suspension spheres, six cylinders, and six speeds in its gearbox.
it's been a very tiring day, so i would just like to quickly pen my thoughts while they are still fresh.
much has been made about the 'German-ness' of the C5.
is it a German car?
YES. there's a tremendous heft to the car as a whole, and to many of the constituent parts which are exposed to daily tactility by its driver and passengers (eg, the doors themselves, the door trims, the handbrake actuator, the gearshift lever).
much of the interior trim is soft to the touch, in the right way. the passenger overhead grab handles retract with a suitably damped manner. the seats envelope your frame. the instrumentation cluster would not look out of place in a Bentley (and Bentley is quite German, thank you).
NO. the new C5 feels leagues different from the old C5. apart from its quantum leap in interior quality, there is a tremendous sense of hyper-activity to the car's main controls which are absent in the old C5. this hyper-activity is more akin to Citroëns of old, with their super-high-pressure hydraulics, than with modern-day cars. the steering is supremely light and detached, way way lighter than anything the Germans do (the closest being the Audi A6). and the brakes! you have to caress them with your toes. anything more and you'll stand the car on end and create a massive tailgate chain collision behind you.
i have to talk about the steering again. the steering is so extremely detached, it feels like it's not connected to anything at all (the impression is heightened because of the extreme degree of power-assistance). the car instead seems to steer by thought, rather than by deed.
is it a French car?
YES. with six spheres of nitrogen and hydraulic fluid, you'd better believe this car smothers every terrain surface that the Land Transport Authority can throw at it. it is totally unperturbed, and this sense of unperturbation is heightened because (unlike in the old C5, where you may not feel the surface irritations but you'll certainly hear them) the car does its business in near absolute serenity.
this car is also most definitely French in the way it lacks decent cupholders, has near useless rear aircon vents, and has a wilfully designed steering wheel just for the sheer heck of it.
NO. this is by no stretch of the imagination a French car. it feels far, far too hewn from a single block of granite.
is it an Italian car, then?
YES. in its proportions. this car was designed by a team who had regular and constant communications, all speaking in the same language.
NO. this car refuses to be rushed, and will do everything not to rush the driver.
ah, it must be a Swedish car.
YES. check out the thickness of those B-pillars, all the better to have a side-impact with.
NO. despite the plethora of airbags and the heft of its B-pillars, this car does not exude the impression that it is a product of a culture which cherishes children and family above everything else.
so... a British car?
YES. if by British you mean Rover, or Jaguar. this car has terrific road presence, and it wafts along the road with a regal imperiousness.
NO. are you kidding? which British car ever felt like it was a moving bank vault? (and no, Rolls-Royces no longer count)
umm... an American car?
YES. in that its paramount mission in life is to cosset its occupants and shield them from the terrors of the outside world.
NO. this cannot be an American car for the simple reason its sole front cupholder is in the most awkward of placements.
heaven forbid... a Japanese car?
YES. quality quality quality. sheer precision in terms of panel fit. tonnes of electronic gadgets and doodads to keep the Harajuku crowd happy. damped fluidity in its controls.
NO. this car is the very antithesis of the culture that brought you the Accord Type R, the GTR, and the Mitsuoka.
so...
what are we left with?
well, Citroën do sell in large numbers in the Chinese market...
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